WHAT IS THE BEST WAY TO ASK FOR HELP?

by: Brooke T. Allen

I am preparing an article on how to ask for help. Please tell me what is missing from this list.

Here is what we have so far:

• Don’t be ashamed or embarrassed – We all need help some times, and most people want to help others – if they can, and they have time.
• Be specific – Make it clear what you want.
• Don’t be tricky – Ask, “How do I get to Carnegie Hall?” and most people will stop to give you instructions. Ask, “Now, can you lend me cab fair?” and they will feel tricked. Do that and you’ll deserve the reputation you get.
• No whining, anger, or frustration – Helpful people want to help – they don’t want to listen to your problems.
• Follow through – If you ask for advice, consider it, and either do it or have a good reason not to. People admire action, not talk.
• Reciprocate – If someone helps you, find a way of helping them.
• Start by offering help – If you start with, “How can I help you?” and then you do help someone, they will often respond in kind. If you are unemployed, and looking for work, you might find that rather than saying, “I’m between opportunities” you might say, “I am unemployed, and I’m looking for ways I can help people.”
• Establish relationships – Remember your goal is to establish a relationship, not to take advantage of people.
• Say thank you – If someone does something for you, thank them. Even if they just take the time to say, “No,” thank them for their time.

Did we miss anything? Email Darla or Brooke with your suggestions.